‘2012’: New Meaning to the Disaster Film

In a word… disappointing. Here’s my take on this sci-fi blockbuster wannabe.

Basic Plot:

In 2009 American geologist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) discovers that the earth’s core is heating up and goes to warn U.S. President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover) through White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) about the terrifying ramifications: an apocalyse. But before a global plan can be implemented to save the earth from disaster, global quakes and tsunamis start destroying the world.

The 2010 G8 summit decides to create giant arks to save a select 400,000 people and several animals in hopes of salvaging some of the planet.

In the middle of this chaos, writer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is trying to enjoy an adventure with his kids in Yellowstone away from ex-wife Kate (Amanda Peet) when he stumbles upon a conspiracy theorist and radio host called Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) who keeps announcing that the Mayans were right and the world will end in 2012.

Jackson now must save his family – and perhaps even repair his former marriage with Kate – by locating the arks and getting his family to safety before the whole earth is destroyed.

Being Bad Fares Well on Screen

From writer/director/actor Tyler Perry, the Lionsgate comedy/drama I Can Do Bad All By Myself centers on the fractured life of a nightclub singer called April (Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) and her difficult journey back to faith, love, and family.

April is living a selfish, dysfunctional life, letting her ailing mother raise her sister’s three kids Jennifer (Hope Olaide Wilson), Manny (Kwesi Boakye), and Byron (Frederick Siglar) while April spends her days abusing alcohol, sleeping all day, and having an affair with Randy (Brian White), a cold-hearted married man.

April’s lonely life is suddenly interrupted when Madea (Tyler Perry) brings by her troublesome niece and nephews and the local church – represented by churchgoer Wilma (Gladys Knight) and Pastor Brian (Marvin Winans) – sends over a handsome, out-of-work stranger with carpentry skills called Sandino (Adam Rodriguez, CSI: Miami), who hopes to get room and board in exchange for a job.

All About… Mary

Don’t let the title All About Steve fool you.

Yeah, sure, Steve (played by Bradley Cooper – of the unfortunate The Hangover buzz) is the hot blind date who happens to have a cool job as adventuresome news videographer and also happens to be the obsession of one crazy, red-boot-wearing word meister called Mary Horowitz (Sandra Bullock, who also happens to be the film’s producer).

But, after viewing this new PG-13 20^th Century Fox comedy, all I can say is , “There’s something about Mary.”

‘Time Traveler’s Wife’: Genetic Wardrobe Malfunction Meets Melodrama

Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana star as two destined lovers, Clare Abshire and Henry DeTamble, who try desperately to nurture a relationship constantly complicated by Henry’s uncontrollable time traveling tendencies.

Henry has learned to live with this genetic disorder since childhood that not only strips him of his present reality, but literally of his clothes as he travels through time. (Can we say constant ‘wardrobe malfunction’?)

But the faithful Clare is becoming increasingly tired of Henry’s sudden and unpredictable disappearances that have caused him to disappear into thin air at the worst of moments. (I say ditto to that.)

‘Julie and Julia’ Sizzles on Screen

Here’s one movie idea that isn’t half-baked. Julie & Julia, starring Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, is scrumptious on-screen entertainment!

Writer/Director Nora Ephron (You’ve Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle) dishes up a great plot that interweaves two true stories – one about a New York woman named Julie Powell (Amy Adams), who, while working at a dead-end job, gets the crazy idea of cooking up 365 days of Julia Child’s famous recipes and then blogging about them, and the other about how Julia Child (Meryl Streep) went from bored housewife living in Paris to culinary star and American icon.

‘The Proposal’: An Engaging Comedy

Beautiful but hard-nosed editor Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock) is about to get shipped back to Canada at the height of her career at Colden Books when she gets the brilliant idea of wedding her hardworking, faithful male assistant, Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds), so she can stay in country.

But there is just one problem. Margaret’s immigration office, Mr. Gilbertson (Denis O’Hare), is bent on proving the wedding is a sham and threatens a stiff prison sentence for Andrew and instant deportation for Margaret should the engagement prove fraudulent as he suspects.

Despite the obstacles, the couple decides to continue the farce as planned by telling the engagement news at the 90^th birthday celebration of Andrew’s Grandma Annie (played by Betty White).

‘Transformers 2’: Thin on Plot, Cool on Visual Effects

Autobot Optimus Prime (voiced by Peter Cullen) and the military, headed by Major Lennox (Josh Duhamel) have been successfully working side by side to defend Earth from enemy attacks from the Decepticons for years. But there are once again sinister stirrings from Decepticon forces, headed by The Fallen, who aren’t about to give up their infiltration and destruction of Earth. And now one government official is trying to rid the planet of Autobot defenses just at the time when those Autobot forces will be needed most.

Now the Decepticons are after college-bound Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), who happens to possess the remaining sliver of the cube, the ultimate object of robotic power force.  

‘Land of the Lost’ Disappoints

Take the old caveman Geico ads, mix in raunchy SNL skits, and throw in a Daisy Duke Brit and a redneck good old boy and you’ve got the new Land of the Lost that opened last Friday.

The original 1974 TV series written by Sid and Marty Krofft followed the time traveling adventures of a camping father and his two kids who inexplicably find themselves in the mysterious world of man-eating dinosaurs, sinister lizard-like Sleestaks, and a monkey boy called Chaka.

‘Star Trek’: Beaming Up This Generation

Star Trek

We haven’t seen a Trek film since 2002’s Star Trek: Nemesis. This film marks the 11th Trek film to hit the silver screen.

It’s another sci-fi flick that is returning to origins. We saw it years ago in Star Wars Episode I, then Batman Begins, and even in last week’s opening of Wolverine. And now J. J. Abrams is doing the same thing by getting back to the beginning of Trek lore.

‘Angels & Demons’: A Better Dan Brown Adaptation

Angels & Demons

The newly released Angels & Demons effectively beat out Star Trek, bringing in 48 million in box office revenue its first weekend. The film marks the second of Dan Brown’s novels to make it to the silver screen. The first was 2006’s smash hit the Da Vinci Code.

Now, with Angels & Demons, we see Tom Hanks again in his role as Harvard symbolist Robert Langdon. This time he is headed to the Vatican. The pope has died and the Cardinals must prepare a conclave to choose the next successor. When the Illuminati capture the top four potential candidates – or Preferatti – and threaten to kill each man at a certain time and locale across Rome, Dr. Langdon teams up with physicist Vittoria Vetra from Switzerland to solve the clues and end the violence, effectively saving all of Rome from destruction and allowing the Vatican to pick the right man to lead the Catholic church at large.