‘2012’: New Meaning to the Disaster Film

In a word… disappointing. Here’s my take on this sci-fi blockbuster wannabe.

Basic Plot:

In 2009 American geologist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) discovers that the earth’s core is heating up and goes to warn U.S. President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover) through White House Chief of Staff Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt) about the terrifying ramifications: an apocalyse. But before a global plan can be implemented to save the earth from disaster, global quakes and tsunamis start destroying the world.

The 2010 G8 summit decides to create giant arks to save a select 400,000 people and several animals in hopes of salvaging some of the planet.

In the middle of this chaos, writer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is trying to enjoy an adventure with his kids in Yellowstone away from ex-wife Kate (Amanda Peet) when he stumbles upon a conspiracy theorist and radio host called Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) who keeps announcing that the Mayans were right and the world will end in 2012.

Jackson now must save his family – and perhaps even repair his former marriage with Kate – by locating the arks and getting his family to safety before the whole earth is destroyed.

Rants:

• The film really seemed to drag. ( Perhaps the 158 minute length has something to do with that.)
• There were too many cliché moments – bad foreign accents, The United States predictably being the most humane country with the most smarts to combat the “end of the world” issue, kissing scenes at the height of impending doom. SNL will love this one.
• What’s with Amanda Peet’s bangs? Isn’t she supposed to look older now that she is playing a responsible mommy?
• Too many impossibly narrow escapes – in fact, I laughed several times at the sheer ridiculousness of the plot
• The CG effects weren’t up to par – some of it looked fake and that spoiled it.
• Gigantic arks are used to save the remaining people of the world, yet there is no real mention of this being biblical. Obviously, the world in 2012 is not religious. How sad.

Raves:

• Danny Glover does a fine job as President Thomas Wilson, as does John Cusack as Jackson Curtis, but the poor storyline overshadows their performances.
• The best part about the film? Woody Harrelson’s portrayal of the nutty national park radio DJ Charlie Frost. He was true to form and offered comic relief. I just wish he played a bigger role in the film.

Final Analysis:

Overall, this PG-13 film is a disaster of a disaster film. See this Columbia Pictures flick on DVD if you must and take lots of bathroom breaks; believe me, you won’t miss much.

— Laura J. Bagby